Here and the Ch.10 -PART1-

Since it was summer, shahad and her sister travelled to her dad in jeddah, so i wasn't aware of everything that happens with her not because she didn't want to tell but because both of were caught up into something bigger. 

3 weeks and 2 days passed on what happened with saud and i haven't yet told faisal about it, i still felt filthy and worthless i don't even know why it wasn't that a big of a deal he didn't touch but he sure did make me shiver(badly) with his words. 

Anyways i usually don't sleep until 6AM but i hated that wednesday night and i waited for it to 3ala a7r mn ljamr, so i went back home from my cousins house. Changed my clothes, did my things and then i snuggled myself under the sheets to sleep, it was 1:30 ? Or 2AM elzbda it was early for anyone to sleep bl9ef! 

I slept for 3 hours then my ringtone woke me up, thank god i'm not a heavy sleeper! 

Shahad: nayma? -5angt'ha el3abra-

Nouf: ee ee bs 5ala9 gmt wsh fek?

Shahad: la mafeni shay bs bsolf..

Nouf: wsh fek?

Shahad-breaths heavily and starts crying-

Nouf: haw!!! Haw wsh fekkk shahad la t5awfeni!!

She was crying ldrjt matgdr t7ki w i was half asleep w magdr agol shay so i waited for her to finish her crying session, 6b3n 6ol lwagt w ana agolha"goli la elah ela alah" w tgolha while she's crying, cutest thing LOL! 

After 6-7 minutes she calmed down, still a bit shaky but she could talk now.

Shahad-sigh-

Nouf: wsh feeeekkk

Shahad: rasltlk captures

Nouf: wsho?

Shahad: ja 7akani

Nouf: aywa?

Shahad: nouf b7yati magd t5yltni abki 3ala wald!!! 

Nouf: ntrk 7yatk 3ala jnb fahmeni esh gal?

Shahad: part mn o3'neya ma3rft'ha -quietly-

Nouf: esh ?

Shahad: t5yli ena a5r mara 7aketah mta?  Eli gabl 3 asbe3 aw shay? Mstaw3ba how hurt i was the whole three weeks? B7yati ma3umri 7sait b this kind of emptiness 

Shahad: eshtgt lomi w ho ga3d yzeedha like i need more to think about.

Shahad: ma afhm why am i still holding on walla kl mara yjeni notifications mn ay shay ho awal mn yje fe bali!

She wanted to talk so i listened quietly. 

Shahad: ma3rf ana esh thanbi y3ni ma7sni knt mg9ra?

Shahad: eli yghr enii sm3t'h

Nouf: tdren len yomk hatha maglteli esh gal w kaif kan y7ki?

Shahad: mayhm, fikrat ena ho eli dag tkafi nouf, tjr7 walla tjr7

Nouf: adri tjr7 w t4ba7 ba3d bs one mistake t'36i 3ala kl elashya2 elzaina mara 3'ala6 zy lma ygolk wrga be6'a w feha ng6a soda yjjek wa7d ygolk wain ra7 kl elbaaya6' fahamteni?

Shahad: ee wala fahma bs lsa ana bglbi ga3d 9ot'h 9a7 ena kan yrd brsmya bs mafahamt leh dag aked fe salfa bs s2lta ana w gltla leh! Gal no explanation

Nouf: he has no explanation 

Shahad-starts crying again-

Nouf: esm3eni!! Wagfi. 9ya7. Mara7 yfedk la ho byrj3h wla by3'ayr wla shay, tbena go talk to him, matbena stop making yourself miserable you have a whole life to live la twgfenha 3leh! Ba3den hathi mu enti!! Wenkk shahad? Wen elgwya eli mayhzha re7?

Shahad- laughing-: tslm 3alek 9abra thlath asabe3 b3thri enfjrt.

Nouf: wsh arslk 6yb?

Shahad: dgega b76k speaker 

Nouf: ok 

Shahad: galbi yali 3shg dnyak, 5la 7yat'h wla 5alak akthb etha glt ana mahwak w akthb etha glt ma areedk..

Shahad-sigh-: yn3'z glbi

Nouf: lklmat. 

Shahad: i know

Nouf: w mta hatha?

Shahad: gabl 2 hours

Nouf: mu nawya trden?

Shahad: ela aked

Nouf: w esh btgolen?

Shahad: kl zg

Nouf: kafo walla-laughing-

Shahad: la amz7.. Bs lsa ma 8rart

Nouf: lma t8arren goleli

Shahad: inshalah

Nouf: law byadi shay sweta

Shahad: adri yagalbi

Nouf: mayro7 shay ela b5erah inshalah

Shahad: akeeed

Nouf: ana mayta na3s fa y3ni bakml nomti.. 

Shahad-laughing-: t9b7en 3ala 5air

Nouf: w enti mn ahla

Shahad: a7bk

Nouf: adrii

Shahad: bbye-laughing-

I was actually surprised that she broke down. 

A9lan 3adi life is full of surprises you don't know what will happen next!

I checked whatsapp and the first thing i saw was faisal's conv mn bra"ella mta"

Faisal: hey

Faisal: w lel7en ma ts2len:p 

Faisal: kefk?-2:30AM-

Faisal: nayma mn bdri mashallah-2:55AM-

Faisal: bs atmna a3rf wsh fek, i know you don't like it when someone pushes you to talk, but i need to know what's wrong nouf -3:3AM-

Faisal: etha ana m6'aygk mst3d aswe lmust7el bs 3shan ar6'ek bs goleli

Faisal: ela mta

Nouf: hey 

Nouf: nothing's wrong faisal <3 

Faisal: e7lfi? Tst3b6en?

Nouf: haw! Wsh ast3b6

Faisal: a3rfk zy ma a3rf nafsi

Nouf: yeah so mu shr6 ena feni shay

Faisal: bkaifk bs mta ma 8rarti ena fek shay 36eni 5br

Nouf: !

Faisal: ?

I ignored him knowing that it's my mistake i just didn't want to admit it!!

I went back to sleep for an hour, i woke up feeling empty and nauseous, i hated the feeling. 

I wanted it to go away. 

Nouf: awake?

After 10 minutes.

Faisal: ee

Nouf: i have a long story to tell you

Faisal: i'm all yours

Nouf: tt4kr thak lyom eli skrt feh skype ? Eli lma knt fe bet haifa?

Faisal: ee

Nouf: so faj2a w ana a7kek shft wa7d jay w maknt mstaw3ba w skrt 3ala 6ol ba3den lma dgagt 6l3 s3od 

Faisal: !! 

Nouf: 3'er ena kan nashbli mn ba3d centria nshbli fe bet'hom, "w enti mat7sen feni ana abek" w mdri esh i felt disgust mn nafsi w mn klshay 7oli 

Faisal: w ana tawni adri? W hatha elsbab eli m5lek tkshen mni? 

Faisal: 8smbilah la al3an 5erah!!!!!!! 

Faisal: 78er mayst7i!!! 

Faisal: lmask???? Nouf la tkthben!

Nouf: bs lms katfi w 9r5t w ba3d ma gal ela 7aki

Faisal: 7sbi alah 3aleh!! 

Nouf: bs that's why knt mdri esh aswe w b3den kef t'hz2a b9ftk men wsh ydreh enk t7bni!

Faisal: la la ydri!!! W awal wa7d dari!!!

Nouf: !! W ana leh tawni adri enh ydri!!!

Faisal: l2n mu m3loma btfeedk

Nouf: mo m3loma btfeedni!!=)) law darya ena ydri kan saflt feh w hz2t faisal ana enrb6 lsani gdama!!! 

Faisal: y5asaaa!

Nouf: !!!!! 

Faisal: tdren en l3'ala6 mnk

Nouf: haw

Faisal: lmuhm 

Nouf: i'm sorry 

Faisal: don't be, i'm the one who should apologize

Nouf: w leh

Faisal: the way my cousin acted 

Faisal: ana bnam al7en, t9b7en 3aala 5er.

Nouf: faisal t3rf eni ma7b tnam w ent mt6'ayg

Faisal: mub mt6'ayg abd

Nouf: i know you

Faisal: ymkn b3d 3 weeks agolk wsh feni, good night for now

:/ ok glna '3al6ana bs maynglb 3ly ketha, god my life is so messed up right now yalaitni nmt wla 7aket'h!

---

Few days later..

Shahad was back and at last tjm3na, i will never be able to describe how much i missed them.

Reem: yoo nigga shahad skri el o3'neya shway

Raghad-tbl3 mn thal akl-: la la a7bhaaa

Reem: bgol shay yazg!

Raghad-laughing-: aaah 6yb

Nouf: yala tbda e3trfat el9aif mdri 7a6en group lwsho-laughing- la t9dmoni byom wa7d 

Reem: shahad osh

Shahad-laughing so hard-

Nouf: omg!!!

Shahad: mara ygrf

Nouf: wsho 

Raghad: khalid? La la la law sm7ti-tswe nafsaha tmoot-

Reem-singing-: i'm in loveeeee

I want to hold her feelings before anything bad happens. I'm too scared for her, yet happy. But reem has always been my little sister, ma3rf i can't describe her innocence.